tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7220257798597291639.post801467351832792301..comments2014-10-30T09:34:54.702-06:00Comments on Osric's Wand: Osric's Wand: Chapter 2Jack D. Albrecht Jr.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14484703081995582013noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7220257798597291639.post-9634068161651355332011-08-29T22:48:40.103-06:002011-08-29T22:48:40.103-06:00Thanks breezy,
You can get an autograph as soon a...Thanks breezy,<br /><br />You can get an autograph as soon as we get the paperbacks for sale! (no charge for the autograph of course, I will charge 9 mil to everyone else ;-)) Looks like we will be doing some signings at several local book stores when we get the physical copies done.<br /><br />So glad you all are enjoying it!<br /><br />JackJack D. Albrecht Jr.https://www.blogger.com/profile/14484703081995582013noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7220257798597291639.post-92194410312141843672011-08-29T19:58:16.364-06:002011-08-29T19:58:16.364-06:00Jack (and Ashley),
I'm loving this story so f...Jack (and Ashley),<br /><br />I'm loving this story so far! The first chapter was great. I loved all of the detail and descriptions. I really felt like I was there. I think my favorite part is the description of the inside of the palace. It's just plain beautiful! <br /><br />The second chapter is fantastic! You did an excellent job grabbing my attention right from the beginning and at the end my heart started to speed up a little bit. It still is moving a little faster than it should ;)<br /><br />I love the idea of humans and animals being "equals"; that is incredibly creative! I'm looking forward to the rest of it.<br /><br />Congratulations Jack! I hope for great success in this endeavor and when it's all said and done I would like an autograph please :)<br /><br />Breanna (Breezy)bwenck0518https://www.blogger.com/profile/13207888135379799066noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7220257798597291639.post-73034812209064565192011-08-17T10:14:33.781-06:002011-08-17T10:14:33.781-06:00Thank you so much for the feedback, we will be fix...Thank you so much for the feedback, we will be fixing the issues soon! It is a tremendous blessing to have so many good eyes on this. :-)<br /><br />JackJack D. Albrecht Jr.https://www.blogger.com/profile/14484703081995582013noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7220257798597291639.post-49297000564589034202011-08-16T20:55:38.661-06:002011-08-16T20:55:38.661-06:00If anything, this chapter read even smoother than ...If anything, this chapter read even smoother than the first one. I think you're still doing an incredible job of downloading a lot of setting, plot and character in a seamless manner. It goes down very smooth. <br /><br />Here are my concerns:<br />a) I think "patronize" shows up once as "patron"<br />b) the paragraph where Gus decides "he would be killed" is not quite as seamless as the rest. I don't think it's that you have too much fluff there --- I think it could just be re-arranged a little.<br />c) I think "quite" and "just" make a couple of appearances as unnecessary adverbs<br /><br />I like the piece as a whole, and here's what I <i>especially</i> like: <br /><br />a) The surprise near the beginning, that Gus is an animal<br />b) The ending quote. It creates excitement, uses some of Chapter 2 as context, develops Gus, and builds on the urgency of Chapter 1, and it's short. It's everything a chapter-ending quote should be!<br />c) Lady Carrion --- ok, now I'm <i>jealous</i>. That's such a great name I should have thought of it! Of course, with a name like that I would have made her a villain, and I'm left intrigued about why a woman who appears so unrelentingly sweet and sincere got such a name. <br /><br />And of course d): Happy Birthday Ashley!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com